Music - Part 2: This time it's personal...

I did a post on music a while back called "Music – Part 1" and I have yet to follow it up, so here is a listing of my favourite CDs and brief descriptions of them:

Disraeli Gears by Cream: Cream was sort of like a British version of The Jimi Hendrix Experience (the main difference being that Cream had the better guitarist and The Jimi Hendrix Experience had the better vocalist), they both have a very bluesy, rather psychedelic type sound. This CD also holds the title of "really great music to play video games to".

All of My Heroes Are Villains by Beth Kinderman: A rather nifty singer-songwriter-y kind of awesome. The song Valley is not to be missed, even if you don't have or don't plan on getting the album, go to www.bethkinderman.com and listen to the song, seriously, it's a great song (if a rather downbeat one).

In Stereo by Soggy Potato Chips: It is absolutely hilarious to listen to Alchav scream "headache, headache, headache, headache, headache, I've got a headache!" repeatedly; that says everything you need to know about Soggy Potato Chips.

Score by Dream Theatre: Progressive Rock as it should be, very loud and very energetic with all the long solos and nonsensical lyrics that make this genre so great.

The Velvet Underground and Nico by The Velvet Underground and Nico: A fun little record full of catchy and memorable songs. Also: a subject of controversy back in the days when sex and drugs weren't something you could hear about in every other song on the radio.

Shiny Round Thing Inside by DJ Particle: I don't think that saying that DJ Particle rocks like a rocking thing that rocks is accurate, I think it should be said that a rocking thing that rocks rocks like DJ Particle. In case you find the preceding sentence confusing, I'm saying that DJ Particle (and thus this CD) rocks.

The Blue Album by Weezer: Ah, Weezer, devotees of the ever-so-incredibly-awesome school of Cheap Trick-esque guitar pop, there isn't really much to be said about them except that they were a bright spot in the otherwise dingy world of the 90's mainstream music scene.

The Definitive Collection by ABBA: What am I supposed to say? It's ABBA, the greatest Pop group ever! If Elton John is the King of Pop, then ABBA were the King's royal advisors or something! In a word: they were great.

Happy Ranch by Carrie Dahlby: Carrie Dahlby, the only person to have successfully parodied both Simon and Garfunkel and Gilbert and Sullivan, the Dementia Smackdown women's champion, and generally really good at what she does.

Hunky Dory by David Bowie: Essentially David Bowie's singer-songwriter album, there is the one rocker on this album, but it's mostly acoustic. As an aside I would like to mention Bowie's Bright Orange Mullet of Doom that he wears on the cover and in the pictures in the liner notes, I have nothing to say about it, I would just like to point out that he's wearing a bright orange mullet. Also: I think "Bright Orange Mullet of Doom" would make a great name for a Worm Quartet song.

Freak Out by The Mothers of Invention: This is one of those albums that can be divided into two roughly equal halves, in this case the halves consist of a bunch of off-beat pop songs on one half and a bunch of freaky, experimental songs on the other half; I bought it for the freaky, experimental half, but I kept listening more for the catchy, popish half.

Live! At The Royal Albert Hall by Tiny Tim: The easiest way to describe this album: everything great about Pop music rolled in one Incredibly awesome package.

So there you have it, my favourite CDs and, more importantly, an excuse to title a post "Music – Part 2: This Time It's Personal"

Clever Signoff,

--Stephen

P.S. I would like to point out that the word "awesome" is, in most modern contexts, a lot funnier when you think of it's original meaning which described something that "instills one with a sense of awe". Now you know why I use the word "awesome" so much.

The most important person in the world - A MarsCon Report

Here is the report from my first ever MarsCon!!! (The best birthday present EVER!)

Day One

I volunteered for a bit. Worked 3.5 hours at the Consuite and Registration. It was pretty fun. I got to talk to people. It’s a little like stalking without scaring people. For example, I share a birthday with Carrie Dahlby. Didn’t know that. I got to see all of the people I know of from the “dementia scene” – Luke Ski, Carrie Dahlby, Hot Waffles (and Tim’s Banjo), Tak, Alchav and Kristi, Eric Coleman, Beth Kinderman, Jared Ringold, Bill Putt, and I’m sure there were others. If being in the presence of the “cool people” and talking to some of them wasn’t enough - I got a cool shiny button from the Martian Militia. (PS Since I don’t have my own stuff to sell yet, everybody go to these people’s websites and buy something!)

I ran into Alchav downstairs in the hotel and he invited me to the Dementia Dinner. Bill was taking pictures in the lobby and having people dance for his own amusement – there may be a video of me out there somewhere dancing like a fool because Bill Putt said to. Dinner was fun – although completely inexplicable to someone who wasn’t there. I sat with CRoses, ameangirl (not a typo or commentary on her personality – just her badge name), DJ Particle, and DJ Phoenix. Eric Coleman and Davroz rotated through my table. The food was pretty good – I ate fettucini alfredo four nights in a row. And the servers were very tolerant if somewhat slow. Half of the servers looked somewhat scared whenever they had to approach our group. The others seemed to be having fun.

I attended Opening Ceremonies. There was a skit. Skits are okay. It wasn’t Monty Python. But nothing is. I had to do several skits for Boy Scouts. I liked the Opening Ceremonies skit better – it had video game characters. Yay Pac-Man!

Between Opening Ceremonies and the first dementia concerts, I did the only non-comedy music programming I attended all weekend. I had to show up – it was my idea and I was on the panel. “How to Survive the Inevitable Zombie Apocalypse.” Props to Kevin and Brian. They really did all of the hard work with the movie reviews and the power point presentation. I got to play middle ground, ask questions, sit up front, and pantomime zombie attacks. All fun! I had no idea what to expect or how it would go, but I really liked it. I think it went pretty well. I couldn’t have hosted it by myself. Oh and I got a new book for my reading list – The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks. Mostly I got to wear my very cool Night of the Living Dead t-shirt. w00t!

The Dementia Track concerts:

The first night of concerts featured Beth Kinderman, Eric Coleman, Worm Quartet, and The Gothcicles.

Beth Kinderman is not all that demented. She has a geeky singer-song writer acoustic vibe (sort of like Jonathan Coulton). She is, however, awesome. Very awesome. My favorite Beth Kinderman song is Valley.

Eric Coleman sounds like what I’ll probably sound like when I grow up. He stops his songs occasionally to talk, make pithy comments, be funny, have side bars. The odd thing is I usually stop my pithy comments to sing…. I actually didn’t recognize him until he started singing The Only Coffee House in Town. I was so glad we didn’t skip his concert. He was great.

As if I didn’t have enough proof that my parents are cool, my mom sat with me through a whole Worm Quartet concert. Worm Quartet is… Worm Quartet is…. Worm Quartet is not for the faint of heart. It would be too easy to describe Worm Quartet as a guy with a mullet screaming over pre-recorded synthesizer tracks. However, proof does exist that beyond being extremely funny and profane (and awesome!) – ShoEboX can actually sing well. My favorite song was What Your Parents Think All Your Music Sounds Like. However, I was not allowed to get the button. Just because mom would tolerate the insanity – doesn’t mean she’ll let me take the insanity home with me.

Then there are The Gothcicles. Again, their show was awesome. Their music was awesome. It was late at night though. I am supposed to be asleep by 10 p.m. I saw about half of the concert but I missed their performance with Sudden Death.

I finally calmed down enough to fall asleep around 1:30 a.m. What a blast of a day!!!

Day Two

Breakfast at the hotel was pretty bad. If it hadn’t been free – I doubt that I would have forced myself to eat any of it. Don’t get me wrong. Unlimited free bacon is hardly ever a bad thing (see Bacon!, below). But, I do like my breakfast bacon with other edibles.

Saturday was pretty slow until the concerts started. We looked around the dealer’s room. There were a lot of things my sister would have liked… a bunch of shiny stuff, a Luke Ski album here and there, and some Star Trek memorabilia. Ok, it was stuff I would have liked. But I was saving my money for CDs.

The Dementia Concerts (part 2)

Rob Balder, Sudden Death, Paul and Storm, Possible Oscar, and Hot Waffles (with Tim’s Banjo) performed on Saturday.

Rob Balder gave an outstanding performance. He opened with my mom’s favorite song Always a Goth Chick to Me. ‘Twas Awesome. ‘Twas very, very awesome. During the song Give It Away he threw CDs into the audience. I didn’t get one – but it was still a great set. I also liked the new prop. Rob Balder looks interesting in pink kitty ears. Who knew? The only thing I didn’t like was that he didn’t play Nethack, but the ears nearly made up for it.

Sudden Death was terrific as usual. He did all of my favorites. It was a little disturbing when nateboi took off his t-shirt, but that wasn’t Devo Spice’s fault really. I was hoping other fans (girls) would follow suit – but they tell me I’m too young for that.

Paul and Storm. They were amazing. I had only heard about half of their songs before the concert, so I really enjoyed listening to them. I bought their album because Jonathan Coulton called in the middle of their set and told me to, but I would have anyway. Really.

Possible Oscar had some difficulties getting set up and started. It seemed to bother them a lot more than it bothered me. But then, I’m a fan. Talk Nerdy to Me will always be one of my favorites.

Hot Waffles were the musical Guests of Honor. Tim’s Banjo did a really good job, but Chris’s bass had some technical difficulties. So much so that all future technical difficulties were referred to as “Chris Waffle moments.” Tim and Chris were really great. I wish that all of the dementia artists had an hour or more to perform – but I felt like Hot Waffles really put together a good show and I really enjoyed it.

I met Tak (from Revenge of the Particle) after the concerts. She made my day by telling me that I made her “sucktacular” Friday better. She is undefeated on Dementia Smackdown (the wrestling promotion and not the MarsCon event) – and always will be in my heart!

I didn’t do too much after the concerts. I was hungry and tired and mom wasn’t sure that the 13^th floor was a good place for me to hang out. So, we went to the Prime Rib Buffet in the hotel restaurant and then hung out in our suite. Mostly, I played on the computer and tried to find Dementia Smackdown.

Day Three

Another day, another bad hotel breakfast. At least it was free and had bacon.

The most important thing (for me) was the Dementia Fan Showcase. I was disappointed that DJ Particle didn’t get to do more songs. I originally signed up for the fan showcase specifically because I heard that DJ Particle was going to sing. But, give me an audience and a microphone and I will always sing (as DJ Phoenix learned to her detriment) whether I know the song or not. I got to perform covers of Always a Goth Chick to Me and My Cat is Afraid of the Vacuum Cleaner (which I usually do in harmony with my sister) – with Power Salad in the room listening!!! Yay me. I also got to sing with DJ Phoenix and play fanboy for CRoses. This is the stuff dreams are made of! Everyone was great – Alchav, BreakmanZ, Bill and Davroz, and all the others whose names I don’t know. I only wish I had brought the camcorder so everyone could experience the awesomeness. Next year I will (may?) debut a Gifted Gear original.

Dementia Track Concerts (Part 3):

Art Paul Schlosser, Carrie Dahlby, Power Salad, and the great Luke Ski performed before the Dementia Smackdown (which is not quite the same thing as the wrestling promotion of the same name).

Art Paul Schlosser may be my new favorite dementia artist – if only because he let me go up on stage with him and sing I like my Mother. As I said before, give me an audience and a microphone…..

Carrie Dahlby is one of the main reasons I went to MarsCon. (She's so pretty) She performed with her dad – which I thought was really cool.

Power Salad sang to me. I AM the most important person in the world, you know. He really performs a wild show.

What can I say about the great Luke Ski? He’s another reason I went to MarsCon. He’s a great performer, but I am sorry to report that he is not quite as pretty as Carrie Dahlby. Since he has his own cheering squad, I hope it won’t hurt him for me to say that. My favorite Luke Ski song was Holding Out for Hiro.

A review of the Dementia Smackdown performances wouldn’t be complete without a retelling of all the in-jokes and off-the-cuff remarks. Unfortunately, I can’t possibly replay all of the funny moments here (although I wish I could). Basically, all of the artists did covers, tributes, and lampoons of the other artists’ performances. I will never forget Wyngarde’s performance as the magical Pegasus…

The yolk’s on you,

Stephen

PS I arrived a day early (Thursday) and left a day late (Monday) – but nothing exciting happened.

Here's the thing....

I’ve been thinking about this post for a while now. At least since December when mom said I should write it. It is a review of my experience in undergoing a recent autism evaluation. I’ll admit that it is MUCH more fun to write about MarsCon, the FuMP, Dementia Radio, and all things geeky. And, I’ll get back to those things but this is important too. Especially since it directly reflects my experiences on the Autism Spectrum and my opinions about how I am perceived and treated in the world. And mom said so.

In December, I began a two month process of re-evaluation with a developmental pediatrician who specializes in Autism. I did this for one reason, and one reason only; my parents made me. My first evaluations were done overseas in a Department of Defense elementary school by educators and psychologists. To say that my parents and I found it to be seriously lacking in value is an understatement.

You might think that because we’re from Oregon and I attend a virtual school from home that my parents are more than a little bit alternative – granola, as they say. Nothing could really be further from the truth.

My parents have specific philosophical, political, and cultural values that challenge the existing status quo in parenting and education (see Against School by John Taylor Gatto for one example of what they talk about), but they are really so normal it’s not funny. My sister goes to a public school, Mom was a state-level PTA president, and my dad works for the government. Subversive we are not. Different, maybe. I’ve mentioned before that the series The Big Bang Theory is my life in fast forward.

Anyway….

I began the evaluation with Dr. H in December. It wasn’t really all that exciting – I sat in the room and was asked questions by different people. Dr. H did a physical exam and then on other visits I took IQ tests, and reading tests, and comprehension tests, and performed like a good little monkey. Then, in late January, Dr. H sat with my parents and told them what she had decided about me.

First, I think it’s stupid to evaluate whether someone is on the autistic spectrum if they are not incapacitated by it. Second, I don’t feel that my autism is a disability. I prefer the term disorder to disability (although neither is accurate). Lack of order isn’t necessarily bad for us out of the box thinkers, but lack of ability is unnecessarily limiting. And not true. I feel that I should be evaluated as a person (if at all). Dr. H did not get this. She was specifically not interested in actually having a conversation with me. She definitely didn’t get my jokes.

Dr. H: What are your flaws?

Me: Oh, I’m an egotist. But, of course I have every reason to be because I’m perfect in every way.

Dr. H: Are you kidding?

Me: No, I’m serious. Why would I joke about something like this?

Of course, this was immediately reported to my parents as indicative of my extreme social disability. None of the people who try to understand me and fail get my jokes. Coincidence, I think not. My level of sarcasm and deadpan delivery completely flew over her head – even when my parents said that they were sure I was joking. Note for my future doctors – just because I say I’m serious doesn’t mean that I am.

To paraphrase Will Smith’s character in Hitch – 60% of human communication is body language and 30% is in your tone. Only 10% comes from the words you actually say. Ironically, one of the basic traits that identifies people on the autism spectrum is their inability to correctly interpret social cues. I’ll admit that I have some trouble with this. I’m good with sarcasm, but sometimes I am rude when I don’t mean to be. However, Dr. H missed my social cues completely.

Another trait that Dr. H focused on was my lack of desire to please her or any of the other testers. Well, duh. Why would I? I don’t really care what she thinks of me. I told her this, but she didn’t take me seriously (as opposed to taking me quite seriously when I was, in fact, joking). Apparently there is something in the “normal” human experience that makes people willing to classify others as being superior to or in authority over them – and makes them want to please them. Thanks, I’ll skip that part. Some people are superior to or have authority over me – but they had to earn it!!! It certainly isn’t something I accept from others merely because they are taller or older or have more degrees than me. (There is a whole other topic that I could bring up here regarding people who feel they must bully or otherwise coerce children and the weak into respecting them – but I’ll save that for a rant on why people become teachers…). ((I wouldn’t keep taking cheap shots if other people didn’t make it so darn easy!!!))

Dr. H is very invested in “normal” - like many other medical professionals and educators I know. I always wonder whether they have so much trouble being “normal” themselves that they must become an expert on the subject. If “normal” means being neurotypical, I’m not all that interested. So what if my best ever social experience ever was MarsCon… (MarsCon was awesome, by the way! More later…). So what if my idea of success and interaction defies the “normal” herd mentality. I define success as doing what you love and being able to support yourself with it. That does not require that I go to mainstream school, major in business at an Ivy-league college, or work as a drone in any capacity.

So here is my review (an evaluation evaluation, as it were) of Dr. H and the recent bout of autism-related testing I underwent. Dr. H and her staff seemed nice. She made more of an effort to understand me than most people do. If you have reason to hire a developmental pediatrician in south Texas, she’s good – probably better than most. She may or may not be higher on the autism spectrum than I am. But, don’t expect her to understand or validate any attempt to defy the expectations of “normal.” She is the expert after all.

Bleh,

Stephen

Da da dah

The first day of International Dadaism Month was on February 4. I was planning to deviate from the norm and actually post something for International Dadaism Month but, obviously, I didn’t make it. So, unless you want to wait for the second day of International Dadaism Month (April 1^st) -- here’s my post.

My birthday is on February 22^nd, which just happens to be the day that Dementia Wrestling (more on that in a bit) is running their winter Click-Per-View. I’m going to be presenting at a science fiction convention (more on that in a bit too). Also, I discovered an awesome new (for me) band, so all in all, life is going pretty well!

I am really excited to be going to the science fiction convention in a few weeks. This one has a really good Dementia track. Dementia is comedy music, derived from Dr. Demento, which is the entire reason that I’m going… That, and the fact that I’m hosting a discussion on how to survive the inevitable zombie apocalypse. In addition to the fact that I’m presenting at a major event, I’m getting this really nice Night Of The Living Dead movie poster shirt to wear to the convention. Yes, I am flying from Texas (where it’s always too hot, even in midwinter) up north to where (according to My Mother, Jeff Foxworthy, and every Weather prediction I’ve bothered to read) it is incredibly cold in the dead of winter. No. I am not crazy. No. I do not plan on leaving the hotel. Yes. I realize that flying across the country to listen to a bunch of singers that almost nobody outside of the comedy music cult (which, by the way, is not a literal cult) has ever heard of makes me a humongous nerd. And, no. I don’t care.

I found a really nifty internet show called Dementia Smackdown which, essentially, consists of videogame characters that look like my favourite singers beating each other up. It’s really awesome! There’s also Dementia Raw which features videogame characters who, I assume, look like my favourite comedy DJs (I don’t know, because the only ones I’ve actually seen are the ones who are also singers) beating each other up. It’s like professional wrestling, but with 80% less talking and 108% more nerdiness! Having said all this, I should probably provide you guys with a link or four: go to hosted.filefront.com/DementiaSmackdo for the show and to www.thefump.com, www.consortiumofgenius.com, and www.dementiaradio.org for the music that the show was based on.

In other news, Weezer has replaced They Might Be Giants (who, in turn, replaced Queen) as my favourite band. I think I might have signed up for a few too many newsletters when I get six to ten emails a day from people I’ve never met personally. I have officially decided to scale back my webcomics reading from the 50 I had been reading to around 5. Greek and The Big Bang Theory (which, contrary to popular belief, is NOT based on my life) will both be back on TV soon on account of the Writers’ Strike ending. The Samurai vs. Vikings battle is still undecided.

And now: Grand Funk Railroad!

Music (Part 1)

Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! Happy Whatever-other-holidays-happened-in-the-last-two-weeks! Since new year’s resolution seem to be something of a tradition, I’m resolving to post more regularly. Now that holiday greetings and new year’s resolutions are out of the way, on to the post!

Music, everyone has their own opinion about which types are better. I personally have the same philosophy about music that I have about food, try (almost) everything at least once, there will be some stuff that makes you sick, some stuff that smells horrible, and some stuff that you just don’t like, but if you can sift through the bad stuff there will be lots of really good stuff. Take the heavy metal genre for example, there’s tons of bad metal out there (in fact, there’s several subgenres worth of it, death metal anyone?), but if you look, there also happens to be bands like Blind Guardian (some people don’t like Blind Guardian, but that’s my example and I’m sticking with it) who have great songwriting ability and a vocalist who can actually sing. It’s weird how music has all that variety and most people are only familiar with one or two parts of it.

Music is one of those things I don’t think I could live without (it’s right up there with food and a good supply of books (that is to say, a supply of good books)). I kind of ran out of things to say, so… see you next time!

Stephen

Can you read this?

Terhe is a sutdy tpye tinhg taht syas taht so lnog as the frist and lsat lteters of a wrod are in the rghit palce, you can raed tihs baldy splled carp... wlle, can you?

http://www.homestarrunner.com/answer.html

carpe dementia,

Stephen

New Blog Post

I’m sorry I haven’t updated in so long, but between the Wii, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, Animal Crossing, El Goonish Shive, the new season of Avatar, the fall premieres, Mamma Mia! (the exclamation point is part of the title, BTW), decorating my room, Greek (new show on ABC family, go to abcfamily.com to find out more information whilst you’re wondering how I can plug this show so shamelessly), the new season of How I Met Your Mother, Convincing my mother to let me preorder the new Comedity book (still working on it), the running out of excuses, and all the procrastination, I just couldn’t find the time, but I have now found time to write a new blog post, so without further ado (drum roll)… here… is… the new… blog post!

But first, because I’m sure you all want to see my new reading list, here is my new reading list (we’ll get to the actual post eventually, I swear):

Complete Tales And Poems Of Edgar Allan Poe

Romance of the Three Kingdoms (still haven’t finished, still on book one)

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead

The Collected Stories of Arthur C. Clarke

Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (series) (this is my fourth reread, in case you were keeping track)

Here we go with the new post.

In just three sentences the post will be here.

This is one sentence.

This is one other sentence.

Here it is.

I was just thinking about frequently asked questions and how the questions are either asked by people who already know the answers, asked by people who have enough information to figure out the answers themselves (and are, presumably, just very lazy), or not really frequently asked. Doesn’t this make you wonder what a real FAQ and answers thing would look like? My guess is something like this:

Q: where did I leave my car keys?

A: check the glove compartment

Q: mom, why are you making me read To Kill A Mockingbird?

A: because it’s a classic (or some such nonsense)

Q: can I play until I lose?

A: no

Q: can’t I play just one more level?

A: no

Q: can I finish this song?

A: no

Q: would you mind if I played this song really loud?

A: yes, I mind

Q: what?!?!

A: I mind!

Q: talk louder, I can’t hear you over the music!

A: UGH!!!!!!!!

Q: I still can’t hear you

A: never mind

Q: what?!?!

Q: why doesn’t Gifted Gear Reviews update more often?

A: because the author has the attention span of an eleven year old (i.e. he can sit quietly and listen to an entire Nightwish album, but he takes a week to write one blog post… unless he doesn’t want to take a shower:-)

And there you have it, an FAQ that is actually filled with frequently asked questions.

Well, that’s it, I’ll see you next week (or whenever I get around to updating again).

p.s. I would like it to be known that this post was done in three days, not seven

p.p.s. Please send more fan-mail, because the more fan-mail I receive, the more evidence I have fans and the more evidence I have fans, the more I’ll try to update weekly

p.p.p.s. the above is only a theory and thus has yet to be confirmed.

What you didn't know about me....

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Yes, Grandpa Stephen


2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED
There's this song by Tom Smith called "A Boy And His Frog", it's a tribute to the late Jim Henson; it's very sad.



3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
No



4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Cow Tongue



5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
I'm a little young for that sort of thing



6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Yes.



7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
No, I would never be sarcastic, really...



8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yes



9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
That depends on where i would be jumping, the experience of the person I would be jumping with, and the likelyhood that I might break something.



10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Rice Chex or Corn Flakes, whichever.



11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
I wear velcro shoes, always.



12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Mentally, yes, physically, no.



13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Mint mixed with strawberry, topped with brownies and crushed snickers bars.



14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? That depends on the person, sometimes it's the song they're playing on their CD player or iPod, and sometimes it's the way they greet me, it's all relative.


15. RED OR PINK?
Whichever.



16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF?
What's not to like?



17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
I'm close to everyone who matters.



18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Red, bare-foot .


19. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Corn Flakes!



20. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The sound of my own typing and "Bow 2 Me" by The Consortium Of Genius.



21. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Why would i want to be a crayon?



22. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Wasabi and soy sauce.



23. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My friend,
Eric.


24. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Yes, Grandma sent this. Without her i wouldn't exist, of course i like her.



25. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? Tennis and Curling



26. HAIR COLOR?

Brown.


27. EYE COLOR?
Brown



28. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No, glasses.



29. FAVORITE FOOD?
Unagi on sushi rice.



30. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
I don't like scary movies (i do like creepy movies, though); whether or not I like happy endings depends on the context, if I'm watching something along the lines of Kate & Leopold or Never Been Kissed (both very good; Kate & Leopold is better, though) I want a happy ending, but if I'm watching something closer to The Outer Limits or The Twilight Zone, a happy ending is not preferable (an ironic one is).



31. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
10 Things I Hate About You



32. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Grey



33. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Winter



34. HUGS OR KISSES?
Depends on the person.



35. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Rice.


36. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
N/A



37. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
The Collected Short Stories of Arthur C. Clarke


38. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
A picture of raindrops.



39. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
Good Eats and Dave The Barbarian.



40. FAVOURITE SOUND?
Good music (I'm especially fond of Queen, They Might Be Giants, Tom Smith, The Consortium Of Genius, Rob Balder, Abba, Luke Ski, Wierd Al, Tom Lehrer, DJ Particle, The Gothsicles, Blind Guardian, Nightwish, Sudden Death, Jefferson Airplane, Simon and Garfunkel, The Consortium Of Genius, Donovan, early Bob Dylan, Pete Seeger, Woody Guthrie, Raymond and Scum, Muddy Waters, Frank Zappa's instrumental stuff, The Kinks, The Who, just about anything by Richard O'Brian, The Consortium Of Genius, Herman's Hermits, The Monkees, Strong Bad, Limozeen, Sloshy, Metallica, Pink Floyd, OK GO, Suzi Quatro, David Bowie, Sweet, Slade, Poison, Quiet Riot, Cinderella, Led Zeppelin, Cream, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Clash, some of The Cure's poppier stuff, The Bee Gees, Bob Marley, U-roy, Jimmy Cliff, The Stone Temple Pilots, The Consortium Of Genius, Run-DMC, The Beastie Boys, The Fresh Prince and DJ Jazzy Jeff, LL Cool J, Parliament-Funkadelic, Carrie Dahlby, KC and The Sunshine Band, Kool and The Gang, Live, R.E.M, Jonathan Coulton, The Consortium Of Genius, Murray Gold, Mark Snow, Danny Elfman, Oingo Boingo, Duke Ellington, Shel Silverstein, Steve Martin, Eddie Murphy, The Chipmunks, David Seville, Jim Henson, John Denver, Elton John, Billy Joel, Billy Idol, Sara Evans, The Consortium Of Genius, Sesame Street, Nittle Grasper, Bad Luck, Yoko Kanno, Yoko Ono, John Lennon, John Linnel, Brian Wilson, The Barenaked Ladies, Peter Gabriel, Genesis, Yes, Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, Adam Sandler, Iron Butterfly, Tommy James and The Shondells, Joan Jett, The White Stripes, The Killers, Pat Benatar, Chuck Berry, The Penguins, Dion and The Belmonts, Faith Hill, Tim Mcgraw, Dio, Aretha Franklin, Big 'n' Rich, Montgomery Gentry, Merle Haggard, Johnny Cash, Rod Stewart, ELO, Wicked, Grease, Neil Innes, The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band, Monty Python, Eric Idle, Spinal Tap, Prince, Alice Cooper, Screaming Jay Hawkins, the cast of "Whose Line Is It Anyway?", Kiss, Buddy Holly, Jimi Hendrix, Lemon Demon, Lynard Skynard, Bo Diddley, Eagles, Motorhead, AC/DC, and The Consortium of Genius)




41. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
What kind of choice is this? The Rolling Stones are great musicians and good songwriters, but they aren't even close to being what the beatles were, while the beatles are great musicians and great songwriters, but they're somewhat overrated; the real question is "The Who or The Kinks?"



42. WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
"Wherever I may roam, where I lay my head is home"



43. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I'm funny, I'm smart, and I can sing. I am by no means humble, though.



44. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Salem, OR (i think).



45. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
None, but i am looking forward to your comments on my answers.

Also, please visit http://consortiumofgenius.com, they're my new favourite band!

The In Joke Song

This just in: look at my hand, how weird is my hand?

Round and round and round I go

Where am I going? I don't really know

I don't know where I'm going

But I know exactly where I've been

And I bet'cha that some time in the future I'll go back again

(the rest of the song is accompanied by rhythmic banjo and maracas, except, of course, during the drum solo and the big finale)

If art is anything you can get away with

Then this should fit right in

I'm spouting meaningless crap, but I feel alright

If mom says to spit out my gum, then I'll swallow it in spite

The meaning of existence? Why it's 42

The colour of infinity is a kind of darkish blue

Everything wrong with Star Trek is all the fault of Q

When will Duke Nukem Forever come out? I really wish I knew

I got the existential blues and I think they are contagious

Is it just me or is reality outrageous?

Forever is a temporary state, I wonder why?

Could you please excuse me while I kiss the sky?

When it all comes down to it, is it just a lie?

No, I think it's all an in-joke between me, myself, and I

(Drum solo!)

(After the drum solo finishes, the drums keep going while voices chant "I'm Henry the 8 ^th, I'm Henry the 8^th, Henry the 8^th I am" and the maraca player starts banging their maracas together; three chants in the accordionist plays that riff from "Earache My Eye", followed by the keyboardist (me) playing the same riff (only on the keyboard) after that the banjo player plays the riff again (I really do love that riff), and then the bass player plays the exact same riff (go figure))

(30 second bag-pipe solo… and then, um… a drum roll ending with a big finale on the xylophone!)

The Stephen Report

I'm really sorry I haven't been updating [Posting? what's the word for that?] more regularly.

I just couldn't find anything in my life that's worthy of a blog entry, but then I thought "if people are reading about my life anyway, why shouldn't I just give you an update on my life? "

So here it is:

I found a really funny web comic, it's called Brat-Halla (sadly, it has nothing to do with German sausages) and it's about the Norse gods as elementary-schoolers, trust me it's really funny [I don't know the link off the top of my head, but I know it's at graphicsmash.com].

I finally watched Wayne's World, and it is most excellent (it's basically Bill & Ted, without the time-travel), I encourage everyone who hasn't watched it to either A) watch it because you can relate (I would not be surprised if I'm still living with my parents at 20... or 30), B) watch it for the awesome soundtrack, or C) avoid it like the plague, because you don't like bathroom humour [it's spelled with a U! I don't really understand what Americans have against the letter U].

I'm currently on vacation in Missouri.

I'm learning how to play the harmonica, so far I can play the first two lines of "when the saints go marching in" and a bit from "Touch Me" by The Doors.

I'm still working on my book, if I ever finish it I shall start an internet radio show (for which I have even picked out opening and ending themes) and a convention... thing.

The Killers are doing a concert in Houston (September 15), which I will hopefully be able to go to, if I end up going I'll talk about it in my next post afterwards. Rascal Flats is in concert in San Antonio on July 28. They are sooner, closer, and I like them better. Plus they have the added bonus of being one of my mom's favorites. I'll let you know if I get to go. (I didn't get to go, ah well, mom says i would hate going to a concert anyway)

I found a really addicting online game (okgo.net/rescuetheband).

I've been getting into something called wizard rock, the best to explain it is with this math equation: rock music + harry potter + a very geeky mindset = wizard rock, wizrocklopedia.com should explain it. I'm making a list of names I could use if I ever started a band (suggestions are welcome).

I've been watching Yu-Gi-Oh and Naruto The Abridged Series' (Naruto Abridged starts out stupid, but it gets really funny later on).

I went to see Spamalot, it was really hilarious, if a little bawdy (then again, Shakespeare's comedies were pretty bawdy, so there).

Nothing truly exciting has happened in my life lately (with the possible exception of Spamalot), but I figure if the bacon thing is blog worthy, then so is this.

So until next time, don't get your nose hairs caught in a burning trajectory over Moscow

Stephen

P.S. In regards to my last post, Luke Ski did a really funny song on the subject of bacon (lukeski.com under free mp3s).

Bacon!

I think I killed the Subway sandwich guy.
Figuratively. (I'm autistic, not psychotic).

"How can you stand to live with him?" he asked my mother.

Not the most subtle of social cues, but I think I got it.

See, none of you have ever talked to me. Well LindaBeth and Grandma have, but most of you have only read my blog. I get reader compliments for being mature or well-spoken. But, as I've said before, I'm really just well-edited.

What you can't see is how I talk. And I talk. And I talk. I wake up talking to myself and it keeps going until I fall asleep talking to myself (or the tv). I talk with my hands. I talk in parentheticals. I talk in sidebars. I talk in tangents.

It all started innocently enough that day. My mom took me into Subway for lunch. She asked what I wanted to eat. I scanned the menu and.... an obsession was born.

Bacon!

I liked bacon before I saw the menu that day, but that day I had to have it. I mean I HAD to have it. Bacon! I could only see bacon, smell bacon, say bacon.

"What do you want to eat?"
Bacon
"They don't have a bacon sandwich."
Can I have tuna and bacon?
"No. You can't have tuna and bacon. Ick."
Can I have just bacon?
"No, would you like..."
Bacon! Without the bread?
"How about...."
Bacon. Bacon? Bacon!
"I asked, they don't offer a BLT."
Can I have just the B then?
"I don't think so."
But they sell it. I see it. They HAVE bacon.
"How about roast beef?"
With bacon?

Bacon, bacon, bacon!

I honestly don't remember what I got to eat that day. I know it didn't end up having bacon on it, because the Subway sandwich guy couldn't handle it. Mom was laughing and trying to get him to tell us what kind of sandwich that he could make would have bacon on it - but he just couldn't get there. I think he was overwhelmed. I hope he didn't suffer any permanent trauma.

Unfortunately, he couldn't know that most of my conversations are like this. They aren't tantrums, more like enthusiastic begging or rambling. And a little bit of perseveration - when I get stuck on one topic.

It sounds something like this:

Cleanliness is Next to Impossible

I would rather blog about taking a shower than actually take a shower.

Mom told me to go take a shower. I don't want to take a shower. She jokingly suggested that I blog about not wanting to shower.

I finished my lunch and happily walked to the computer.

"What are you doing?"

I am going to blog about taking a shower.

"No, I want you to go take a shower."

I will when I'm done blogging.

"No, go take a shower and while you are in there - think about what you'd like to blog about taking a shower."

~But I want to blog. BLOG! I want to blog. BLOG! blog, blog, blog, I want to blog! ~ (apologies to Twisted Sister).

Actually, I really just don't want to take a shower.

P.S. Yes, I took my shower. Mom was laughing so hard I actually got to blog first.

Yes, I used shampoo and soap.

I'm taking the 5th regarding clean underwear.

Reader Q & A (Take 2)

Howdy folks! I have actually gotten some more questions from readers. Here are my current answers. Check back often, they change regularly. Grin.

1. Have you gotten any gear yet?

Sadly, no. I've been promised a Wii for my birthday - but mom is going to be paying full retail. Ha! I'm still interested in reviewing gear appropriate for gifted kids and kids on the autistic spectrum. So, if anyone knows anyone...... Or if you just have an idea that you want me to write about, let me know!

2. Is your book the fictionalized history of Sekigahara?

No. I do still want to write about the battle of Sekigahara but I haven't done nearly enough research yet. I am working on two separate ideas for books, and I intend to at least write the drafts this year. As you'll see in some of the posts I'm working on - I have been thinking a lot about what is success. Really, how do you define success? And, more importantly, how do you apply popular notions of success to kids like me, kids who have learning disabilities, and kids who are gifted in certain ways?

The other idea is about access of Asperger's kids to all types of entertainment venues. (Lol! I liked the word "thingies" but venue seemed clearer somehow. Did you know that "lol" is a dutch word that conveniently means "fun"? But I digress.... Oh look! An imp!) I like to go to restaurants, movies, plays, amusement parks, etc. Some experiences are better than others. Some places and some workers are better at dealing with people with less than obvious disabilities.

3. How's Texas?

Awesome! The best part of Texas is that I'm here. We didn't have internet access for the first few weeks, but now that we do - I'm back online, baby! We also have a new 56 inch HD TV which is cool for playing games but not so great for Runescape. Pinball in hi-def is cool! I can't wait for the Wii!

4. What is your Runescape name? When do you play?

Jetthead3; all the time!!!! Stop by. Say, "Hi!" Also, look for Mr. IO Man (dad) and Queen Pete (mom) in member's world 116.

5. Did you write the Gilbert & Sullivan piece?

The parody? yes. The original, no. I wasn't invited to be part of their group.

6. What is your current reading list?

I'm not sure. Let me check. I'll be right Bach, or Beethoven, or Weird Al Yankovic..... I'm not sure which. Ok, I am currently reading: (in no particular order)

Artemis Fowls (the series), Eoin Colfer - Worth a good re-read!
Sherlock Holmes: The Sign of Four, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Romance of the Three Kingdoms (Volume I), attributed to Luo Guanzhong
Justice League Unlimited (the series, except for issue 28), DC Kids
The Ultimate Fantastic Four, Brian Michael Bendis and Mark Millar
Gintama (not to be confused with kintama which means "golden balls" and is a Japanese euphemism for testicles), Hideaki Sorachi
Yu-gi-oh! GX, Naoyuki Kageyama
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (series), Douglas Adams - Always a good re-read.

What's on your reading list?

7. Do you take requests?

On what to write about? Absolutely. On behavior, not so much.

8. What is your favorite post so far?

"Count your blessings", September 2006, because it contains my whole life philosophy (both the title and the actual post).

"Don't get your nose hairs in a burning trajectory over Moscow - be happy!"

Stephen